piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
there was a trapeze. enough said
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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