No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
