You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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