ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
