Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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