Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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