You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
