are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
