I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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