The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
