More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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