Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
