come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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