Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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