I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
