I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
