Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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