we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The best revenge is premature balding
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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