so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
