every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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