Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
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Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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