Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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