I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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