My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
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Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
ok first of all what the fuck
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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