I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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