He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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