do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
