I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
