I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
