U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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