What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
