smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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