"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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