I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
