You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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