The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
