He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
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I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
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Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I still have a little drunk in my system
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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