No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
