the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
