you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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