Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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