and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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