Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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