OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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