feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
