we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
