I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
my liver is dry heaving
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
