Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
