haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
