I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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