my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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