the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
