CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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