Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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