Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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