...so i touched it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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