but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
