you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My vagina just recognized that song.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She bit a glass in half.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
