North Korea, Best Korea!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize