dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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