Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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